Day two....

I write with a squealing baby in my lap so bear with me... today was hard.. and not in the nothing to photograph hard.. just hard.. plain o stinky day hard.... know what I mean? The kids were busy, I was tired and needing a break and there was none in sight... you know the days right... that you live on love and hope that when you wake up tomorrow that they will be better, that it will all be better... it was one of them. I got nothing done..... well nothing except raising my wild kiddos .. and i must believe that that is something right? Something or everything....
Some days I wonder what McCall thinks of all of this chaos.... the little thinker that he is .... I wonder what it is like to be that little and have so much going on around me...


Most days Savanah is taking off..... I get it... I totally get it....

o the wild one the wild wild wild one....


Talking to her bff? or maybe mine????

and I just love this...

and to say it all in just one photo.... time for change? moving on? happy trails even? of course our lives have taken a turn... and where it will lead us .. well we have to trust in God to know..... scared yep.... but there is always something more....
like maybe mud perhaps?

I guess my last thought for today is that Mr M will never know how I have fought... how the war of life rages on behind him.. how I am trying to do right and not give in to the controlling ways of others.... how he is so important and I am trying to learn how to be the best mom I can be... even from this far away.... How no matter what he hears I am trying to make the right decisions for him, well for all of us.
Godspeed little man.. godspeed.

A week in the life........

Im challenging myself..... to capture more of the real.... to forget less of the fake.... to remember why I am on this journey anyway... so here it is... day one...

I promise I changed 45 diapers today.. well not really but it sure felt like it... someone was always poopy... and crying o the crying.... I got up way too early this morning ..... and by noon I was feeling it. I was tired and sure the girls were going to tear the house down...

The girls are getting big, heck they all are.. I cant believe the changes before my eyes.... the growing up and growing wise that we are all doing....
Being grown up is hard stuff..... being true and not swaying is harder.... loving my kids is easy but I find most days loving myself is hard... writing that is darn near scary....
I want to embrace life... and to do that I think we have to be open and bare and I am trying to be ok with that....
Life is messy, and not always perfect but yet I adore it all... the messes... the tired me.... the promises of what is to come... it is mine right? and isnt that enough?

Sometimes she rides her bike and I wish I was her.... what freedom to be young....

Austyn gave me this green necklace today and made me wear it because all princesses have necklaces.... ah to be someones princess....

And Savanah who is ready for any job big or small.. you know with her wrench and her purse....

I wonder often what is in her pretty head..... what dreams she dreams.... she is the one who made me who I am .... and I will never be able to thank her enough

and messy days... oh every day is messy here

Austyn and her flower for mom....

and the one who hangs my moon...............

should I even ask why?????????????????

Color anyone????

and look I do shoot some in color still... check out her eyes!!!

What a fun session.......

Silly blogger I still cant type at the top.... what a fun session this was!!!

two months? really?

Honestly this baby is getting so big... I just adore him.... he and I have been in California for the past 5 days with his brother whos appendix burst... (ouchie) more photos to come.... just need to catch up, the laundry is consuming me...

ok here you go Meme....

I told you Lish would get a good shot for you.... I just adore this... thank you so much Lish for this capture!!!!

Such a sweet sweet family.....

Ok, I am bound and determined to figure out why blogger is making me post in the middle... maybe tomorrow... maybe the next day... This family was amazing, such fun, such love. And the eyes... holy cow!!! Talk about some amazing eyes!!! Thank you so much for coming over to Holden I had a great time and I think your session just may be one of my favorite family sessions ever! Your photos will be done soon!!!

Full moon....

Ok honestly why wont blogger let me write at the top? Silly thing... I had to stop to take these photos of the full moon.... my we just love the canyon...

dang blogspot.......

For some reason i cant write in the same post that I am putting photos in :( I will have to figure that one out later...
Below is the newest creation by Bella Bees and isnt it just cute!!! There are pants under it, but miss Savanah is too short for them to show. I will have to take a photo of them later before I put the outfit up on etsy...

A new day, a new design......

fun...

we had so much fun..... we got to take photos... we got to hang out.. we got to watch all the kids play... what fun it was.
of course, before we knew it the time was over.... and our friends had to continue their vacation... what wonderful memories we made... what amazing belly laughs we shared...

what fun! thanks guys!!!!

good friends... good times.....