"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal- is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey with delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinder, and jolts, interspersed occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."---Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." - Elbert Hubbard

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

I was a California girl....

I once was... really... I use to be.. or is it used to be... who knows.. anyway.. I once was. I was a California girl living in a California world... furnished with California friends and even a California divorce.... I know it sounds cliche but its true. I had a job I hated but a life I thought I loved. Operative word here is thought. I was at a point in my life that I was done with a lot of things.. one of them being men... not in the ok Im not going to date anymore kind... it was the I HATE THEM... NO MORE... NO WAY.... God is funny sometimes as we all know.
My friend at work suggested that I call her brother... hilarious. Her brother that lived a mere 600 miles away.. in Utah no less... think like the middle of Utah.. the center.. ha.. um the sticks.... small town?..... nowhereland..... (funny funny I live there now) her brother that by the looks of the photo on her wall was a complete and total dork. Honestly, I was not into khaki pants and glasses...and a clean shaven face? O my. I was not into any of it. He was not only not my type... but way not my type and way WAY far away.... but I figured Id humor her. She called him... explained the rather funny situation and he said he'd hang up and call back because a girl shouldnt call a guy first... Chivalry???? Seriously???? Where on earth did he come from?
(Here is Tamra, friend turned sister in law)
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He called back and we talked. And we talked and we talked some more. And some more even. It was wierd. I was blunt. I held no punches... I laid it all on the line. I didnt care if it wasnt pretty... it was simply where I was in life. Broken. Burnt. Angry. Sad. I figured I'd never see him.. ever. I figured it was simply someone to bounce my words off of. I figured wrong. Within days, or dare I say hours....whos to know because I dont remember hanging up the phone except to take the biggins to school or to shower... within whatever.. I knew. He was the piece, he was the one, he was the reason that I didnt know I didnt have. He was the biggest cliche of all... he was my true love. WHAT? HONESTLY.... back to reality Kell, you hate men... remember? O yes, but he was different... the ying to my yang.. all that crapola... yep all of it.. it was him. Him and so much more.
And the story... the story of Austin will have to wait... but lets just say... duster, late night.... middle of Nevada... begining of the story.... whatever...
dang him. it was him. He smirks about it now, I think he knew.
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And to my surprise, he didnt show up in khakis... or dockers or anything that my stuffy self thought he would show up in... He was rough and rugged... and opened my door... and finished my sentences... and well I wasnt prepared to be attracted altho it didnt matter because I was already so so in love. I know. I cant explain it. But I was.
So sometimes I wonder about how I got here.... to all of this... to days I spend chasing many many babies...
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And these are the days... sometimes the level of noise gets to me... or the fear of the uncertanty of not only our world but our lives. Sometimes I let myself slip.. go there... sometimes I get angry... and think WHAT???? What the heck is this................................................
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this is my life... it is... and I savor every moment.... i do...
and I thank God for it all... especially for waterproof paint.....
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8 comments:

Kulik Photography said...

SO sweet!!!!!

Tanya Bennett said...

Looks like you are settling into your life as you know it. I think at some point each of us has to embrace what we are given and not forget to keep living and enjoy the moments! Oh ya - hopefully Ryan doesn't see your blog he will want me to write something wonderful about him.
Take care and hope to see you guys soon.

Heather said...

Your killing me:) I am going to have to either stop reading your blog or invest in a truckload of kleenex tissues. Your pictures and your words remind me what life is really about!

Brittany said...

Tanya makes me laugh...Ditto...

You are amazing, and I love to read your blog, even if I don't have time to always post a comment. I feel like I haven't seen you forever...maybe if you would actually hold still long enough we might be able to get together...call me if you head up this way, it could be fun to get together and let the kiddos play!

Melz Spot in the Sun said...

Hi Kelly,
LOVE IT! I had no idea this how you met Jerid....how cool is that?! And I love this picture of Tamara and her kiddos! I'm so glad you're home, I hope to catch up with you very soon.
~Melanie

PS If you feel the need to blog and need to do something random, consider yourself tagged! Check out my blog for details. xoxoxo

Brandon, Megan, & Maddax said...

Hey it's Megan E- Tatum's sis! Just wanted to say hi and that your post was beautiful and extremely relatable!

Jenny B said...

Wow Kell, You should write more often, so touching:)

Shal said...

The picture of Tamra and her kids is BEAUTIFUL!